我不习惯

sorry
我不是不想回去
我只是不想被你们冷落的对待
从以前和你们一起笑一起玩的我
变到现在没什么话好说的我
我真的不习惯
我已尝试很多次
但还是被你们冷落
你有你的新朋友
我知道
而我
很老实的说一句
我对你的新朋友
只有恨
讨厌
不爽

所以
抱歉
是我的错
我无法融进你们那一大班人
我选择离开

还有
你
不需要为我做出什么改变
并不值得
你们三个在一起就好了
没有我你们还是一样那么开心的对吗
我没有妖怪你的意思
所以
抱歉
我不想换回去
因为现在的我
才没被冷落
他们懂得和我聊天
陪我笑
陪我颠

你可以说我自私
我不想看到我讨厌的人
看到我憎恨的人
一直隔离我和你们
所以我要换天
我看到人渣我真的控制不到自己
就请你原谅。
我不想去
看到你的那两个朋友
因为不想让我感到孤单
而勉强地跟我聊天
我不想要你们的同情对待
所以
enjoy yourself on thursday
without me
u also can enjoy with ur friends right?
haha..

24-7-2011

since my blog dont have any reader
chatbox deleted

today cut my hair
might look retarded
and i'm ugly now

today,
a sentence
finally woke me up from my dream
a phrase
thank you very much
i accidentally heard this from someone
and here
i will like thanks
C.Y

girls dont like annoying boy
and i wont be that annoying anymore

Photo

I hate taking photo
if you request to take a photo with me together
i might decline
its not ur problem
cause, i really dont like to take any photo.
i really dont like it when i see my face in any of the photo

If i forced to take a photo
I sure will bow my head
and look at the floor

BUT IF YOU FORCE ME TO LOOK AT THE CAMERA
WHEN I BOW MY HEAD
I WILL BECOME VERY VERY ANGRY
JUST LIKE WHAT A FXXKING PERSON THAT I MET TODAY
I FEEL LIKE WANNA SLAP HIS FACE
GOD DAMN IT
SO
DUN FORCE ME TO TAKE PHOTO AND FORCE ME TO LOOK AT THE CAMERA

i only will do it when with my family
or for something that is important
thats all

23-7

went for a competition
如果我说我没期望
那是假的
如果我说我不失望
那是假的

突然间
很想有个人陪我聊天
突然间
很想有人回复我
突然间
很想做很多东西
突然间
发现身旁没什么东西了

我讨厌寂寞
我讨厌安静
需要人陪... ...

Piano Grade 5 ABRSM Practical Exam

finally finished my exam
i really happy
thanks for those who wished me
M.E, C.M, K.S, P.Y
just 4 ppl that gimme support
anyway
thanks

天性

不要对我说
因为我讲话大声
而被人讨厌
请别在我面前隐瞒些什么
我告诉你
如果一个人
天生人缘好
天生样貌端
就算他说话如何大声
他也不会被人讨厌
而我
我没有那些先天性的东西
说话就是大声了点
你们就诸多批评

所以
不要对我说
因为我讲话大声
不爽我就讲

还有
我告诉你
我说话大声
从小就这样
如果你不懂
你就去问所有读启智华小的同学
我说话就是大声
从小就这样
不要对我说
you're trying to get ppl attention
just shut the f up
我不需要别人的关注
如果你不懂我
你就闭嘴
不爽我就不爽我
反正我习惯了
我说话就是大声
我没必要因为你们
而改变我一生的天性
除非你是对我很重要的人

这是我最敏感的话题
我被别人歧视够久了
从几天前起
我要我的新生命
我会反驳
相信我
我会
我不介意我在你们眼中是怎样的怪物
被人冷落
被人歧视
被人谴责
被人误会
我告诉你
不要惹我

最后
让我来说
我说哈大声
我并没有要任何人的注意
这是天性
狗喜欢吃骨头
这是天性
牛吃草
这是天性
人有长处有短处
这也是天性
所以
不了解我的人
你们要说什么来批评我
随便
我不介意
因为
这是我的天性

20-7

next wednesday
20-7
piano practical exam
hope god bless me
i want get either a distinction or a merit
and no go to school
class will be happy

god bless me
please...

A letter from E.T

Form 4 life.

I think I can enjoy it
But I’m wrong
4E.
BEST CLASS FOREVER
I have no comment in this class
What I can say is
I’m E.T in the class
E.T
U get what I mean?
Dunno go check dictionary
Seriously
I really hate this class
Full of ass hole
Especially those who like to betray the classmate in order to benefit one another.
I just can use this word to describe you guys
“Bastard”
And now
In the class
No friend I can speak with
NOONE
Only kynnman, and wai kit
Others?
They have their own group
And me and kynnman
We like rejected by the whole class
TUESDAY
12 of JULY
I still remember
My friend, lim wai kit birthday
I told the WHOLE CLASS
Today is his birthday
I asked them to sing a song for him
BUT U KNOW WHATS THE REACTION?
Whole class stay quiet
Continued doing their homework
NOONE SEEMS TO BOTHER ME
I was totally pissed off by this
This case never happen in the class before
This is the first
Again, this prove that
I’M AN E.T IN THIS CLASS
Now
Don’t tell me what 4E need cooperation
Just shut up
E.T will not join any of the class activity
GOD DAMN IT
And today
BM period, teacher asked us to form 5 people group
To do the BM aural
I expected that
You, and You
You 2, will join my group with kynnman and wai kit
And I did something stupid
I asked one of my friend
“ maybe I should ask XXXX XXX and XXX XXXX to join my group “
But my friend told me
“ THEY ALREADY INVITED US TO THEIR GROUP “
That time
My heart was like OMFG
I wanted to scream so loud
But I didn’t
Stay quiet there
And this really pull me to hell
I thought you will ask me to join ur group?
Never mind
Then
There’s only 1 group that formed by 3 ppl in 4E,
2 E.T kynnman, young chin and a half E.T wai kit
Nobody wanted to join our group
ITS OK.
Now
My attitude toward you guys will change
When I need you guys so MUCH
And you guys will never think of me
Maybe you cant accept my another 2 buddies
I understand you
But
I really don’t know what to do !!!!
When I talk to you 2
I scared my E.T friend will be alone
But when I talk to them
Is ur turn to be left out.
So what I can do?
Now
Every incident that happen on me
Will make me more wicked
I really changed a lot
Day after day
Maybe in ur heart
I’m not form 3 de me
And you don’t need me as ur friend anymore
I scared that will happen on me
This is BEFORE d me
But now
After today’s incident
I wont feel scare anymore
Cause everything that I posses
Will not be permanent
And one of my friend
Told me
“ you should be more optimistic “
and some of my friend
asked me to do that too
and now
I will tell u guys what happened to me when I’m form 3
If u know me in form 2
I sure u know how yoongchin is
Form 2 de me, will never say no to photo taking
Will never look down to myself
Will never scold bad word
And after form 3
Things just change
RIGHT?
And here
I will tell u guys what is really happened
Form 3, gone into 3M
I know 2 girls
Two girls that humiliated and insulted the most at the starting of the year
You
You made me speechless
Remember what u said?
“ you think u play guitar very yeng? My z more yeng than you “
“ you think u very lengzai? My k lengzai than you “
“ you shut up, you think u very funny ?”
And more and more
Starting of the year
I’m just like a clown
Humiliated by u 2.
Right?
Learning to fight back, learning to defend myself
And now
I wont be that optimist anymore
I choose to be a pessimist
And is YOU
That push me to the hell
And now
You give me ur hand
And try to raise me up from hell
And I will say thank you, I don’t need it
So
皇上的故事
对我发挥没多大的作用
在我生命里
每样我想珍惜
我想守护的
到最后
一定会离我而去
而留下的
将会是我永远的遗憾
永远的内疚
永远的苦涩
我在这和你说多一个故事

有一名小孩
他天生好动
天生就很自恋
有一天
他进入一个没有认识的人的环境
他被所有的人嘲笑
被所有的人歧视
他身旁并无朋友能帮助他
他被人凌辱了三个多月
终于
把他那自恋的性格彻底改掉
剥夺了他那乐观的想法
留下的
是一个负面的脑
自卑的心理
而这个他
也不想回去从前的他
这
就是我


我不懂我能做些什么
一个一个伤我的回忆
一次一次地失去事物
我就会越来越坏
并不会让我重获什么
因为
拾取后得到的东西
都是苦涩的
我不希望失去我身边的东西
所以
我
坏
这就是我

Heartless

this few days really take my spirit off
i dont feel like wanna update my blog
but some of my friends asked me to do it so
so now
i updateD it.
lets see something
NEW.

1st
open day,
will be a gg day for me
my attitude get C in the class
i know i'm a bad student
but how can
teacher gave me a C..
what i want to say is
WTF@@
forced to accept this..
haihz
mum sure kill me already
dump me to garbage??
who knows??

2nd
i think i having a big big troub with many of my friends
some of my form 3 BEST friends
and now
our friendship
like going down
going worse
i really hate someone
someone that really pissed me off
since form 3 i disliked him
till now
i really DISLIKE this fella much
i just didnt show my feelings out..

now
5 best friends from form 3
3M
the 1st
in the different class now.
we less talk
we less meet
maybe she dont want talk to me? who knows?
or maybe is my problem
cause i feel that.
i really change a lot
so this friend
we dont appear like that so CLOSE like Form 3


2nd
this friend is a pretty gal!
haha..
although we are still in the same class
but again
we are not that close already
maybe i left you out?
i dunno.
now
she have a group of new friends
and seldom talk to me
sometimes
i really wanna talk to u
but when i see u walk away from me
and join another group and chit chat loudly and happily
i would like to use this word
" hap cou "
u can say me selfish or what
but
ITS TRUE!
really
especially its a THURSDAY
most moody day for me in a whole week
i really hate that day
especially 30th of june

3rd
this a kee siao friend
i talk less with her
but i care her
haha
maybe she dont know??
nowadays i can see her so moody in school almost everyday
i wanted to know what had happened,
but i know
NOONE WILL TELL ME ==
to bad...
i can do nothing on her..
cant help her..
sorry
but among 4 of my BEST FRIEND
YOU
ya YOU
i'm saying YOU
between me and you
the friendship between us
is what i can maintain until now
thank you

and the last
this " bai giok " fella
haha
football pro leh ppl
now he cant play football for 6 months
haha.. felt sorry for him
less hang out with u la
WOI
I WANT GO OUT WITH YOU LA
SIAN
TEACH ME FOOTBALL BROTHER
DONT ALWAYS BULLY ME OK ==
@@
and
GRATZ U
CALL HER EVERYDAY
MUAHAHA
UR $$ PAIN MA?? wahehahahaha

and the last thing
which hurt me the most
is YOU.
not to blame u or what
just read ur blog
i will like to have some response here
if receiving a sms from me
or have a short eye sight from me
will interrupt or irritate you
me
YOONG CHIN
i wont do this again on u
anyway
i'm not forcing u
to do anything
ANYTHING THAT EXASPERATE U
now.
i choose to walk away
but i'm not giving up
just like a p.c
or a volcano
i'm in sleeping mode.
anyway
SORRY.
bla bla bla.
zzz zzz