why

i hate people dun wan reply me
i really hate it
i was planning this and that
please dun 敷衍 me
if i'm kacauing or what
just tell me!
but if its not
y dont you talk?
respond to me?
suan le.
u dun like talking
then dun talk


no mood
GOD DAMN IT
fucking friday

Dream

wait, about a month never update my blog
its too busy
i hate exam, damn you @@
get lost.. !!
finally exam over
who want date me?? oi oi oi
i want go shopping.. walala
watch tv... buy clothes lalala

kay..
exam... get me insane
this few days
i dreamed twice
yesterday
a damn nice dream
impossible in the r.l la
yea
i dreamed about you
maybe i miss you too much?
i read a article
you dream

1st
cause u ran out of energy for whole day,u're damn exhausted
then night u sleep
u dream.
dream about ... ...

2nd
u miss somebody, something or other else too much, you will dream bout it
DEZIRE
DESIRE
zzz

3rd
the article says this is only can explain through psychic, i can briefly get the meaning la.. its like, forecasting, predicting? i dont know.. not really understand about it

4th
this one i know, about psychic again,
is something like hidden in ur heart,
your mind,
but you dont know it.
in chinese we call it 潜意识

5th
you did something that really unforgettable
or u did something that made u guilty?
shock that i read this
they say
those who are always rushing
nervous
and busy
like ME
easy get nightmare??
apa ni.. i didnt dream about ghost also
somemore i'm not afraid of ghost
*to prove this, now its 1.25am, and i still typing my blog
whole family slept edi.. lalala. come bite me la.. LAI..
1v1
zzz

yesterday
its nice
its a dream
just a dream
sweet dream
nice dream
i love the feeling
i love the moment that happen
yea. nice
that
that i never had before
once i woke up
i SMILE

sometimes
dreaming is good
i got no chance to have it in my life
but i have it in my dream
yea.
just a dream

BYE BYE
go dream again
lalala..

OI OI OI @@

24-9

anybody free on 24-9??
its a saturday
i want go 1U.. siapa boleh pei pei me..??
i dun wan be alone
COME 1U


SHOWDOWN 2011
I'M COMING..
beatbox workshop
i coming too.. ngek ngek..

ANYONE CAN COME ALONG WITH ME??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i asked so many ppl all say bey sai..
bey song ==

to u u

对不起
我没有要怪你的意思
我那时只是怀疑你
我没说肯定是你
但现在我懂了
我相信你
只是中间出了差错
现在问题解决了
我在这跟你道歉

家里多了一个枕头
枕头好抱
枕头好躺
枕头好
枕头就是枕头
客人来到了我家
看了枕头就说好
软软的
鲜艳的
睡觉时需要的
妈妈把这个枕头给了弟弟
弟弟看了看
把它放在床上
睡了两三天
弟弟头有点痛了
妈说是扁头痛
妈又买了一个枕头给弟
然后把那个美枕头给了姐
弟不喜欢那个枕头
他从姐的房间里偷了出来
想要丢了他
但姐发现时
骂了弟一顿
弟从此就更加讨厌那个枕头了
让他有变头痛的枕头
爸常睡在姐的房间
弟劝爸别睡在枕头上
爸没多加理会
弟不爽了
他就把枕头丢掉了
看到了姐的房间少了那枕头
弟很开心
弟笑了


lalala..
my mood not that good this few day
i can still talk to everyone nicely d.
lalala..
you are a clever boy
arent you?
sadly
i have a strong psychical mind
dont underestimate me
i know what u going to do next
lalala
ur tactic is good
but cant beat me down just like that
lalala
trust me
if u do something on someone that i really care of
i swear to god
i will bash you up
"ALTHOUGH NOBODY SUPPORTING ME"

31-8

今天
国庆日
也是我两个朋友的生日
哈哈
祝他们两个生日快乐啦
不懂要说什么
以往朋友生日我都会说很多东西的
好啦
一个一个来

第一个
男的

我中二就认识他了
那时我和他不很熟
只知道他是我们班一个
很lengzai 的男的
哈哈
到了中二年尾
哈哈
我和他就开始熟了
一直癫癫玩玩
哈哈
来到了中三
我和他不同班
比较少接触了
只是在排队时
能够聚在一起聊下天
哈哈
偶尔有时我会跑去他班逃课
然后一起废
我班还有女生喜欢他咧
哈哈
到了中四
好咯
我跟他同班了
他说他很不爽
因为他进到了华语班
他的华文很差
哈哈
不过他在班真的很不错的
我每天都找他聊天
中四的我
很少找人聊天
我的见解和想法跟你们都不同
我跟你们说的话
你们未必能了解其中的意义
但我和他就聊得来
我们都有共同的想法
就好像
我和他都很拒绝拍照
哈哈！！
他真的帮我很多忙啦
我妈离家出走
第一个开导我的人就是他
他有那种经验
他说的话和别人说的不同
如果你深入了解他
你会觉得
这个人将来一定有所作为
哈哈
因为他想的东西就是很特别的
我和他都是那种
think outside the box 的人
有些人不采纳我们的意见
因为你们不懂得欣赏
他的意见被人批评
但我觉得有道理
哈哈
都是古灵精怪的
他很喜欢音乐
他的英文很好
他的社交不好
他的娱乐很少
他的朋友不多
他的头脑很好
他的想法特别
他的观点特异
因为他
就是他
哈哈
anyway
today is your birthday
happy birthday la dude
i know u hate reading chinese
or maybe you dont read my blog
but i just type a short wishes for u
IN　ＥＮＧＬＩＳＨ
hope u can read this
hapi bufdae la alien
god bless u
and stay handsome always.. wakakaa

第二个
女的

昨天跟她庆祝了她的生日
她哭了
我终于知道什么叫感动掉泪了
哈哈
她是一个很笨的女生
我和他说的事
她未必明白
我要三番四次去解释
她才能 get 到我讲什么
哈哈
我是个急性子
我不喜欢重复再重复
但这不代表我不care 你
哈哈
我中三才认识你的
你还记得我们是怎样认识的吗？
我来告诉你吧
中三
年头
有一次
你在扫地
我好像是在顶着你
你就说
“sim la＂
哈哈
这是你第一句和我说的话
我还记得
过后我坐你前面
每次和你借liquid
就会和你吵架
哈哈
吵架是乐趣咧
哈哈
我知道那是你很不爽我的咯
哈哈
过后和你熟了
就每天和你，和另四个朋友玩在一起
哈哈
然后又是我会和你聊天
在电话聊上两三个小时
然后有时你也会开导我
可是你一直暴我料出来咯
有时有一点不爽你啦
哈哈
不过现在没有了
来到了中四
我很少和你聊天了
偶尔有时有sms 下
在班上聊天很少
因为我不习惯你的新朋友
你可以说我不care 你
但我不是咯
我这个人是冷冷的
我不懂如何去讨你欢心
但我还是很care 你这个朋友的
哈哈
就好象昨天酱
哈哈
中四
你是我中三的
五个死党中
现在和我感情最好的了
哈哈
对不起啦
我不是一个很好的朋友
哈哈
anyway
happy birthday la
38 po
成熟点啦
不要每天在班上emo
哦给？？ 哈哈

离家出走

28-8-2011
星期日
一个我永生难忘的日子

12.37pm
我在玩着电脑
我妈起床
看到我玩电脑
她叫我把电脑关掉
我已经做完家务了
我继续玩
结果她又来唠叨我
我那时候忍不住自己的情绪
我骂了她
然后就把插头关掉
我真的控制不好自己
我就犯下了大错

吃饭时
她没理会我
我已经知错了
我想道歉
可是我人笨
我根本开不了口
吃完饭后
我就默默地看着我吗在忙着家务
我很想帮忙
可是我不敢开口问她我能帮些什么
就只是坐在那
我把起床后
我妈向他埋怨
我就在那弹琴
我知道我爸一定对我很失望
我听到什么
妈说在家里没人和她聊心事
我很愧疚
然后我冲凉

3.14pm
我妈刚做好家务
她上楼冲凉
我不懂能做些什么
我坐在厅里玩吉他
到她冲了凉下来
我看到她拿着一个大大包的袋子
就好像外劳那种袋子
过后
她把身上的金器脱了下来
耳环
手镯
项链
戒指
放进了神台
我有种不好的预感
过后
她又把自己的钱包放进神台
只拿出她的身份证
我已料到什么事挥发生
然后
她开了门
我弟在哭
她就这样走了出门
连锁匙也没带走
就把那锁匙放进邮箱里
然后就拿着她的行李
她的一个包包
就这样走了
我整个人崩溃了
她走时
竟然叫我锁门
我没接过她的锁匙
我看着她走
我没开口要求她留下
就坐在门口
看着她走
我的眼泪鼻涕都流了出来
我没去理会
就坐在门口那哭
我接在冲凉
我弟在房间
我在那愣了十分钟左右
我不懂要做些什么
等我清醒回来
我冲上我房间
还了件衣
我就直接翻过铁门
然后跑着去找她
一直跑
一直跑
我家有很多的分叉路
我站在路口
呆在那
我不知她向哪个方向跑去
我就在那乱跑
乱找
我眼泪一直在掉
直到我跑到大路那
我看到了她
我冲上前去
我二话不说
就抢了她的行李
她回头看着我
“你在做什么”
我
抽泣地说
“回去”
在那僵持了一阵
我没放手
我终于逼到她回去了
回到家
她把行李放上车
我又从她车里把行李放上楼
然后
我妈没多加理会
拿了她放在神台的钱包
上车
就走了
我不懂如何是好
就呆在那
看着自己那个衰样
我忍不住
又哭了
我对不起我妈
对不起整家人

我上线
跟他聊了一阵
他开导了我
我的泪不再流


勇証
你是不是错到无可救药？
你把你自己的妈都能气走



对不起
妈
请你回来
我真的知错了
对不起
我没勇气开口对你说些什么
但我想告诉你
我真的做错了

陌生

从以前聊到天花乱坠
到现在眼神交错间
充满了沉默
你和我


最熟悉的陌生人

Life

this few weeks
i really damn sian
easy to get angry, mood changes easily
i dont know why
i cant focus right now
i failed 6 subject in the monthly test
am i pro?

today i went for a tuition
i sat with 2 friends
both of them are lengzai la
u know what
i felt so humiliated sitting beside them
i very bey song
they zat me la.
this la
that la
WHAT THE FFFFFFFFuuuuCCCCCCCCCkkk
first
my hair
my hair is curl
born to be like that
and i hate my hair too
so rough and so dry
i cant find a proper hairstyle to suit my freaking ugly face
they said that my hair like sandpaper.
what i can say? i just stayed quite there.

yea. i'm pessimistic person
i always think a lot and a lot
looking, is the first impression to everybody right?
yes, its true.
unlike the others,
i dont have those damn freaking handsome looks.
someone said i like a beggar
kampung boy.
i really hate it
if its god that gave us our looks
then i will like to tell u
u are damn unfair
i'm shitting unsatisfied with u
life is full of challenge?
everyday, everyone just want to humiliate me
or make fun of me
is this a fucking challenge also?
if its yes
then i admit
i'm weak
i hate those challenge
U gave me a face that full of pimples.
i really hate those god damnit pimples
this really irritate me.
see.
a guy with a smooth face do nothing to their face
their face still that smooth, that nice
a guy like me, full of pimples and oily face
even how hard i work on my face, how much i care it,
the pimples just increase day by day
getting worse and worst！
is that what u get from what u did?
nah.

my height
shitting short
only 16x cm.
i will feel so sad
if i'm standing in the crowd
eerybody is taller than me
but ?
i'm that freaking short
i really hate it

my interaction is sucks
i cant start a conversation with girls
or even boys
i have less friend
communication sucks
my manner sucks
am not a gentleman
i really hate my life
i dont know how to appreciate
i can end up my life now
but i cant be so selfish because of my parents
i still need to take care of them
i'm not satisfy with everything thats with me
my characteristics
my traits
my looking
i always think in a different way that everybody does
and you guys will never know how i feel

just like a disabled person
living in the society

or like a moss
living in the forest

or like a nemo fish
living in the sea

or like a frog
just jumped out from the will

whatever u have
i will never have it
friendship
academic
knowledge
looking
love
money
joy
reputation
self-esteem
manner

should i get a potion to transform myself into Mr Hyde?
i think i should
and now
just to tell U
yea.
U
the 100% perfect
i have nothing
u have a great looks
u have good studies
u have so many girls admire you
u have a pretty girl friend
u have a nice body shape
u have money
u have good reputation
u have extremely good in sport
u have a sociable life


BUT
IF I PLAY A SELF PWN GAME WITH YOU
WOULD YOU?
I CAN DIE NOW
WITH NO REGRET
but
can you?

in an extremely bad mood
i need a doctor
to bring me back to life
a doctor
that can talk to me
i need a doctor
doctor
to bring me back to life

13-8

啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦

学校来了一个日本人
在4k
我没去认识
唉
这一个星期感触很大
我的人际关系真的很差
人缘不好
朋友又少
我想去认识多些朋友
结果还要被骂
我人缘真的很不好
我讨厌孤单
唉。。
真希望我朋友能多一点
人际关系能好一点

最近都没去动我的电话了
我终于戒掉了动电话的恶习了
对啊
反正我找别人别人都不回复我
我发了五封讯息
结果都没回复
所以
电话可以丢了
哈哈

突然间很想回去之前的日子
4月的我
3月的我
我真的很怀念
最近一直在听歌
一直在听老歌
周杰伦的歌
就一直听，一直听
慢慢体会那种感觉
原来听歌不之听旋律
感觉也很重要

现在鬼节了
我有朋友撞鬼
对我来说
我一点也不怕鬼
就算真的有个鬼站在我面前
我也不会被他吓到晕去
因为
我活都活到不耐烦
你觉得我还会怕你咩？
come on baby !

有人说自恋比自卑好
对我来说
我宁愿一世自卑
我都不会去做些我不喜欢做的事
我就是不喜欢拍照
不要拉我去拍照
朋友都没脸给

星期五
8月12日
我在班上
被一群我非常之痛恨的人
嘲笑至极
我告诉你们
我并没有奢求什么
我知道我自己不会得到
我并没说是属于我的
不懂事的你们就 fuck off
你们就把自己的那张臭嘴闭上
尤其是你
我知道你什么都比我好
成绩好
人缘好
功课好
朋友多
但
我真的很讨厌你
我不像你酱自恋
我没有说我一定会得到
因为
我是失败的

七月的总结

七月
一个让我想到很明白的一个月
感谢某些人
感谢某些事
感谢某句话
感谢我的朋友
感谢在我身边陪着我的人
感谢陪我聊天的人
感谢帮过我的人
感谢给我鼓励的人
谢谢

一个一个来说
一个人
让我想通了很多
哈哈
谢谢你
像你说的
不是你的，就不要勉强
所以
现在
我顺其自然了

发生了某件事
和我的朋友有关
而从中
我才知道你是关心我的
我没有明示
但我想对你说
谢谢

某句话
惊醒了我
让我知道
原来我真的很烦人
所以
八月的我
不会再去烦你了
像你说的
开心最重要
我不会去扰乱你的心情了

谢谢我的朋友
我的死党
摇摇摇
每天陪我说笑的你
当我被冷落而陪着我的你
谢了兄弟

感谢陪在我身边的人
我的好妹妹
有什么事就跟我说吧
哥哥我关心你的
哈哈

感谢陪我聊天的人
最近电话都很安静
但有时还是有人陪
希望我不会烦到你们
谢了

谢谢帮过我的人
有人帮我
开导我
有人帮我
做高数题目
有人帮我
当我脚抽筋时
哈哈！！
谢谢啦

谢谢给过我鼓励的人
钢琴考试
My Challenge 比赛
谢所有给我鼓励的人
谢谢

一个让我想明很多东西的一个月
一个让我抛开所有的一切
现在得失对我来说并不重要了
朋友走了
你也跑了
比赛输了
有失败了
被讨厌了
我现在不管了
哈哈
我现在只随我自己
我得罪你
我不管了
你讨厌我
我不管了
反正我给人的印象就是坏的
我不需要去纠正些什么
爽我的人
我就爽
不爽我的人
随便你
哈哈

anyway
八月快乐
先向我的死党说什生日快乐
8月31日
摇摇摇的生日
Smun Lee的生日
掰～～

我不习惯

sorry
我不是不想回去
我只是不想被你们冷落的对待
从以前和你们一起笑一起玩的我
变到现在没什么话好说的我
我真的不习惯
我已尝试很多次
但还是被你们冷落
你有你的新朋友
我知道
而我
很老实的说一句
我对你的新朋友
只有恨
讨厌
不爽

所以
抱歉
是我的错
我无法融进你们那一大班人
我选择离开

还有
你
不需要为我做出什么改变
并不值得
你们三个在一起就好了
没有我你们还是一样那么开心的对吗
我没有妖怪你的意思
所以
抱歉
我不想换回去
因为现在的我
才没被冷落
他们懂得和我聊天
陪我笑
陪我颠

你可以说我自私
我不想看到我讨厌的人
看到我憎恨的人
一直隔离我和你们
所以我要换天
我看到人渣我真的控制不到自己
就请你原谅。
我不想去
看到你的那两个朋友
因为不想让我感到孤单
而勉强地跟我聊天
我不想要你们的同情对待
所以
enjoy yourself on thursday
without me
u also can enjoy with ur friends right?
haha..

24-7-2011

since my blog dont have any reader
chatbox deleted

today cut my hair
might look retarded
and i'm ugly now

today,
a sentence
finally woke me up from my dream
a phrase
thank you very much
i accidentally heard this from someone
and here
i will like thanks
C.Y

girls dont like annoying boy
and i wont be that annoying anymore

Photo

I hate taking photo
if you request to take a photo with me together
i might decline
its not ur problem
cause, i really dont like to take any photo.
i really dont like it when i see my face in any of the photo

If i forced to take a photo
I sure will bow my head
and look at the floor

BUT IF YOU FORCE ME TO LOOK AT THE CAMERA
WHEN I BOW MY HEAD
I WILL BECOME VERY VERY ANGRY
JUST LIKE WHAT A FXXKING PERSON THAT I MET TODAY
I FEEL LIKE WANNA SLAP HIS FACE
GOD DAMN IT
SO
DUN FORCE ME TO TAKE PHOTO AND FORCE ME TO LOOK AT THE CAMERA

i only will do it when with my family
or for something that is important
thats all

23-7

went for a competition
如果我说我没期望
那是假的
如果我说我不失望
那是假的

突然间
很想有个人陪我聊天
突然间
很想有人回复我
突然间
很想做很多东西
突然间
发现身旁没什么东西了

我讨厌寂寞
我讨厌安静
需要人陪... ...

Piano Grade 5 ABRSM Practical Exam

finally finished my exam
i really happy
thanks for those who wished me
M.E, C.M, K.S, P.Y
just 4 ppl that gimme support
anyway
thanks

天性

不要对我说
因为我讲话大声
而被人讨厌
请别在我面前隐瞒些什么
我告诉你
如果一个人
天生人缘好
天生样貌端
就算他说话如何大声
他也不会被人讨厌
而我
我没有那些先天性的东西
说话就是大声了点
你们就诸多批评

所以
不要对我说
因为我讲话大声
不爽我就讲

还有
我告诉你
我说话大声
从小就这样
如果你不懂
你就去问所有读启智华小的同学
我说话就是大声
从小就这样
不要对我说
you're trying to get ppl attention
just shut the f up
我不需要别人的关注
如果你不懂我
你就闭嘴
不爽我就不爽我
反正我习惯了
我说话就是大声
我没必要因为你们
而改变我一生的天性
除非你是对我很重要的人

这是我最敏感的话题
我被别人歧视够久了
从几天前起
我要我的新生命
我会反驳
相信我
我会
我不介意我在你们眼中是怎样的怪物
被人冷落
被人歧视
被人谴责
被人误会
我告诉你
不要惹我

最后
让我来说
我说哈大声
我并没有要任何人的注意
这是天性
狗喜欢吃骨头
这是天性
牛吃草
这是天性
人有长处有短处
这也是天性
所以
不了解我的人
你们要说什么来批评我
随便
我不介意
因为
这是我的天性

20-7

next wednesday
20-7
piano practical exam
hope god bless me
i want get either a distinction or a merit
and no go to school
class will be happy

god bless me
please...

A letter from E.T

Form 4 life.

I think I can enjoy it
But I’m wrong
4E.
BEST CLASS FOREVER
I have no comment in this class
What I can say is
I’m E.T in the class
E.T
U get what I mean?
Dunno go check dictionary
Seriously
I really hate this class
Full of ass hole
Especially those who like to betray the classmate in order to benefit one another.
I just can use this word to describe you guys
“Bastard”
And now
In the class
No friend I can speak with
NOONE
Only kynnman, and wai kit
Others?
They have their own group
And me and kynnman
We like rejected by the whole class
TUESDAY
12 of JULY
I still remember
My friend, lim wai kit birthday
I told the WHOLE CLASS
Today is his birthday
I asked them to sing a song for him
BUT U KNOW WHATS THE REACTION?
Whole class stay quiet
Continued doing their homework
NOONE SEEMS TO BOTHER ME
I was totally pissed off by this
This case never happen in the class before
This is the first
Again, this prove that
I’M AN E.T IN THIS CLASS
Now
Don’t tell me what 4E need cooperation
Just shut up
E.T will not join any of the class activity
GOD DAMN IT
And today
BM period, teacher asked us to form 5 people group
To do the BM aural
I expected that
You, and You
You 2, will join my group with kynnman and wai kit
And I did something stupid
I asked one of my friend
“ maybe I should ask XXXX XXX and XXX XXXX to join my group “
But my friend told me
“ THEY ALREADY INVITED US TO THEIR GROUP “
That time
My heart was like OMFG
I wanted to scream so loud
But I didn’t
Stay quiet there
And this really pull me to hell
I thought you will ask me to join ur group?
Never mind
Then
There’s only 1 group that formed by 3 ppl in 4E,
2 E.T kynnman, young chin and a half E.T wai kit
Nobody wanted to join our group
ITS OK.
Now
My attitude toward you guys will change
When I need you guys so MUCH
And you guys will never think of me
Maybe you cant accept my another 2 buddies
I understand you
But
I really don’t know what to do !!!!
When I talk to you 2
I scared my E.T friend will be alone
But when I talk to them
Is ur turn to be left out.
So what I can do?
Now
Every incident that happen on me
Will make me more wicked
I really changed a lot
Day after day
Maybe in ur heart
I’m not form 3 de me
And you don’t need me as ur friend anymore
I scared that will happen on me
This is BEFORE d me
But now
After today’s incident
I wont feel scare anymore
Cause everything that I posses
Will not be permanent
And one of my friend
Told me
“ you should be more optimistic “
and some of my friend
asked me to do that too
and now
I will tell u guys what happened to me when I’m form 3
If u know me in form 2
I sure u know how yoongchin is
Form 2 de me, will never say no to photo taking
Will never look down to myself
Will never scold bad word
And after form 3
Things just change
RIGHT?
And here
I will tell u guys what is really happened
Form 3, gone into 3M
I know 2 girls
Two girls that humiliated and insulted the most at the starting of the year
You
You made me speechless
Remember what u said?
“ you think u play guitar very yeng? My z more yeng than you “
“ you think u very lengzai? My k lengzai than you “
“ you shut up, you think u very funny ?”
And more and more
Starting of the year
I’m just like a clown
Humiliated by u 2.
Right?
Learning to fight back, learning to defend myself
And now
I wont be that optimist anymore
I choose to be a pessimist
And is YOU
That push me to the hell
And now
You give me ur hand
And try to raise me up from hell
And I will say thank you, I don’t need it
So
皇上的故事
对我发挥没多大的作用
在我生命里
每样我想珍惜
我想守护的
到最后
一定会离我而去
而留下的
将会是我永远的遗憾
永远的内疚
永远的苦涩
我在这和你说多一个故事

有一名小孩
他天生好动
天生就很自恋
有一天
他进入一个没有认识的人的环境
他被所有的人嘲笑
被所有的人歧视
他身旁并无朋友能帮助他
他被人凌辱了三个多月
终于
把他那自恋的性格彻底改掉
剥夺了他那乐观的想法
留下的
是一个负面的脑
自卑的心理
而这个他
也不想回去从前的他
这
就是我


我不懂我能做些什么
一个一个伤我的回忆
一次一次地失去事物
我就会越来越坏
并不会让我重获什么
因为
拾取后得到的东西
都是苦涩的
我不希望失去我身边的东西
所以
我
坏
这就是我

Heartless

this few days really take my spirit off
i dont feel like wanna update my blog
but some of my friends asked me to do it so
so now
i updateD it.
lets see something
NEW.

1st
open day,
will be a gg day for me
my attitude get C in the class
i know i'm a bad student
but how can
teacher gave me a C..
what i want to say is
WTF@@
forced to accept this..
haihz
mum sure kill me already
dump me to garbage??
who knows??

2nd
i think i having a big big troub with many of my friends
some of my form 3 BEST friends
and now
our friendship
like going down
going worse
i really hate someone
someone that really pissed me off
since form 3 i disliked him
till now
i really DISLIKE this fella much
i just didnt show my feelings out..

now
5 best friends from form 3
3M
the 1st
in the different class now.
we less talk
we less meet
maybe she dont want talk to me? who knows?
or maybe is my problem
cause i feel that.
i really change a lot
so this friend
we dont appear like that so CLOSE like Form 3


2nd
this friend is a pretty gal!
haha..
although we are still in the same class
but again
we are not that close already
maybe i left you out?
i dunno.
now
she have a group of new friends
and seldom talk to me
sometimes
i really wanna talk to u
but when i see u walk away from me
and join another group and chit chat loudly and happily
i would like to use this word
" hap cou "
u can say me selfish or what
but
ITS TRUE!
really
especially its a THURSDAY
most moody day for me in a whole week
i really hate that day
especially 30th of june

3rd
this a kee siao friend
i talk less with her
but i care her
haha
maybe she dont know??
nowadays i can see her so moody in school almost everyday
i wanted to know what had happened,
but i know
NOONE WILL TELL ME ==
to bad...
i can do nothing on her..
cant help her..
sorry
but among 4 of my BEST FRIEND
YOU
ya YOU
i'm saying YOU
between me and you
the friendship between us
is what i can maintain until now
thank you

and the last
this " bai giok " fella
haha
football pro leh ppl
now he cant play football for 6 months
haha.. felt sorry for him
less hang out with u la
WOI
I WANT GO OUT WITH YOU LA
SIAN
TEACH ME FOOTBALL BROTHER
DONT ALWAYS BULLY ME OK ==
@@
and
GRATZ U
CALL HER EVERYDAY
MUAHAHA
UR $$ PAIN MA?? wahehahahaha

and the last thing
which hurt me the most
is YOU.
not to blame u or what
just read ur blog
i will like to have some response here
if receiving a sms from me
or have a short eye sight from me
will interrupt or irritate you
me
YOONG CHIN
i wont do this again on u
anyway
i'm not forcing u
to do anything
ANYTHING THAT EXASPERATE U
now.
i choose to walk away
but i'm not giving up
just like a p.c
or a volcano
i'm in sleeping mode.
anyway
SORRY.
bla bla bla.
zzz zzz

16-6

今天她生日
祝她十六岁生日快乐

觉悟

曾经曾经是多么的美好
而现在，我只想努力去挽回那所有的一切
我现在，试着尽力的去挽回那所有的一切
我希望，我能得到上帝的祝福

对不起，我真的觉悟了
对不起，是我把你握得太紧
对不起，是我犯下的过失
对不起，是我要求太过分

我这所有的对不起
我愿以我的行动作为证明
我愿以我的一切来袮补
我愿意我的所有来挽回和你的这一切
在我心里
你就是那个铁定的第一
我不想如此失去了你


对不起
对不起
对不起
对不起
对不起

希望你能宽恕我
希望... ...

属于我的东西

这几天都没写部落
没心情
没力气
没时间
没事情
做个总结
这一个星期
我的生活 = SUCK!

昨天我一整晚都没睡
或许是我不想睡
我就一直拼命的想东西
想这
想那
直到了四点左右，
我才安心睡觉
我想了一整天的东西
懂我在想什么吗？
有一半是关于她的东西
我也没力气去讲了

而
另一半
我在想
每个人
生命里
都有些
属于他
的东西
而
在我的
生命里
哪些物
是属于
勇証的

我想了好久

爱情？
抱歉，那不属于我
我人不好
我不觉得那美妙的爱情是属于我的

友情？
我人缘不好
朋友少
真正属于我的朋友
我可以说
一个都没有

亲情？
我爸最疼的是我姐
人家都说男的和老爸最好沟通
而我
我从没向我老爸提起一些关于我的东西
因为
他不了解我
在他眼里
我就是一个脾气臭的孩子
而我妈
最疼的就是我弟弟
我妈只关心我弟弟
对我的事毫不过问
当我做错一点小事
她就会谴责我骂我
而我？
就会把自己反锁在自己的房间了
抱着自己的吉他
有时眼泪掉了
没人懂
只有它会陪着我
所以，
我在家是一个没地位的人
我和姐吵架
老爸会在老妈面前讲我
所以
我的姐
在家可以只做一点的家务
其他的
全部都是我一手包办
我能说什么？？

学业？
我读书不好
尽管我在努力
我还是个朽木

未来？
我不觉得我的未来是光明的
像我这样的人
死都会死到比较快
因为
我不热爱生命

样貌？
我没样貌
我不像某些人那么受还迎
我不是磁铁
所以
这也是不属于我的

想了好久
好久
什么才是属于我的？
结论：
音乐
音乐是我最好的朋友
最好的情人
我走到哪
我都能听到音乐
而它
都会永远陪伴我
曾经想过
如果我没了手指
我会死掉
如果我没了左右脚
我会跳楼
因为
吉他，钢琴，鼓
是我最好的伙伴
你知道吗
当我生气时
我会疯狂的打鼓
当我掉泪时
当我想到她时
我会拼命地玩吉他
玩到手指痛了
手红了
我才会停
当我坠落时
钢琴永远是我的选择

人
最重要是要珍惜目前所有属于自己的东西
那些不属于我的东西
我从现在起
我不会再去强求
为爱情哭了百遍
为友情彻底心碎
为亲情琐事而烦
为学业伤透脑筋
为未来奋斗奋斗
为样貌奢求奢求

我不想再去在乎
那些不属于我的东西
就是不属于我的

而
属于我的东西
就只有你
我的音乐
NO MUSIC NO LIFE

梦

最近的我很厉害发梦
到了今天
我得到了我要的答案
原来我真的是在做梦
一个很美妙的梦
一个只是有我和你的梦
一个离现实还是很遥远的梦
这
就是我的梦
在我梦中
只有我
和我心爱的你
不过
今天以后
一切必须停止
与其自我陶醉在梦中
倒不如一巴掌来个清醒

我对你说过
我是梁山伯
我很努力地寻找着我的祝英台
但
你却对我说
“我是朱丽叶
不是你的祝英台”
我理解了

现在的我
变回以前的我
如此悲观
我还是一样的爱着你
偶尔有时候
我会希望
你能接受我
只求这个奇迹会发生



我
还是一样的
不被重视
没有地位
那就是
我

20-5-2011 11.37.27PM

听她说
5月21日
世界将会末日

现在
5月20日
一个很好的一天
可我却没机会对你说
那三个字

现在11.41
再多19 分钟
就21 了
如果5月21日
真的末日了
我还是想对你说

如果世界真的末日了
我还是会继续爱着你
错过的我爱你
也只能深深地埋在土里

exam over. ngek ngek

wahha..
god damn exam finally over.
so damn freaking happy.
hang out time!!
who want date me de.
sms me!!! wahaha
i want watch movie
i want shopping
i want hang gai with buddies
i want hang out with YOU!!!
i want gaming for whole day
i want blast ur ass off ==
k la.. i really want relax
who want go boxing de call me ==
but i dont think i will enjoy lo
my result all bad
apa ni
CHEMISTRY 58
fuck the wall ... ==
maths ass hole..
add maths dont know how to do
BM teacher said me fail.
BI my composition teacher said weird story line, (i write about dog, she bey song )
Bio didnt study at all. essay structure all blank
Physics the structure all dunno how to do.
BC still ok.. i love bc ==
Moral the most bey song, i memorized all the nilai, but i dunno need to write it out.. so GG also.
History, sure fail subject,i didnt read at all
when teacher marked the paper in our class
i saw others d essay
wtf..
all so damn damn long..
i just used 1 page and a half.
then gao tim
somemore i MAXIMIZE my handwritting
ai yo.
in this class very stress la
all so pro.
me nub kia.
god damn

Next thursday going for a competition again..
now keep on practicing
haih
make my life so busy..
26-5
i hope can win la
if win jor
i can go sarawak.. wahehaha
but i'm not that pro ==

next wednesday
till next next saturday
ada orang pergi sesuatu tempat
and
i will be drop dead
who want date me !!!
i want go hang gai with you guys
if not i will die at home ==
ai yo..
sad la.. zzzz

五月十四

五月十四
绿色情人节
祝她情人节快乐

sian. exam this few days
make me cant update my blog
sian lo.
my maths get 77% only
not that satisfy for the result.
haih.. exam.
get lost la
everyday read
my eyes become like panda edi
after exam
i want go hang gai!!
la la la...!

!!! stalker !!!

stalker
华语又叫潜行而试者。
懂什么意思吗？
就是一些王八，
监视着人家。
最近我的部落格给人家监视到很爽。
我不介意，
但你这个猪肠粉，
在我背后做小动作？
很爽哦？
不要想别人，
我讲的就是你！！
妈的，
我很少在我部落格放粗口，
今天第一次，
因为我真的很生气。

我今天很不爽
不爽到要爆炸
如果你给我机会
我一定会送你几拳。
诶，
死粉肠，
你在我背后搞小动作很爽是不是？
你妈的！
我跟你讲，
不要以为你做了什么鸟是我不懂
若要人不知，除非己莫为。
已经弄到我很不爽你了。
叫卖一大班人来监视我很爽是不是
FK OFF!
有胆你面对面跟我谈
不要在我背后做缩头乌龟
我知道我人缘不好
我的朋友不够你多
但我很清楚跟你讲
我发火了
我讨厌的人我很少说出来的
你要做第一个是不是？
你和你那一大群人，
自己心里有数。
我跟你说
最好不要惹我。
我可以很好，也可以很坏。

还有，
再次谢谢那些我的部落格的读者，
我不是在说你们 XD
由于有些粉肠监视者
我决定了
我不放 Private,
要看就来看啦。
哈哈。
不过
你们这些 stalker
知道自己是谁，
我牙刷讨厌你们。
fuck off from my blog please.

粗口计算 ：4个
生气指数 : 80%

没心情

最近心情很差。
每天在家就一直胡思乱想。
很想找个人陪我聊天=.=

yea.
i really need someone to talk with
someone that can really speak into my heart
thats what i need now.
those 012 and 017 de..
SMS ME LA !!!
=.='''
wanna die liao ==
haih. no mood
MOODY!!!...

F7

no more sweet or sweat pose in my blog.
dun ask me anymore about my blog in school.
kns!

sorry 对不起 maaf

对不起
当我读了你的部落后
我才知道
我给了你很多麻烦
好了
我也觉得自己要求过多
对不起
现在
你就做回你自己的米拉吧
我不烦你了
有事才讯息我吧
对不起


and to all my dear blog reader
i'll change my blog to private soon
due to some ass hole =.=...
so..
leave down ur email here..
and i will just invite u all..
pai seh.
sorry.

25-4

25-4
a retire ceremony for miss teoh
our beloved add maths and maths teacher
she's leaving
YES!
she's leaving.
and 4E sang a song for her
and once again
i want to scold a teacher
a fatty damn ass hole
i saw her fxxking face
i really wanna punch her.
she asked us no need perform,
cause we're talking
fk up la
she have no right to cancel off our perform
who she think she is?
just a small damn it in our school.
miss teoh left
some students cried
for me i didnt
and many students took a nice photo with miss teoh
for me i didnt
cause i just dont like take any photo.
nice.

this two days
i didnt sms much with my B.B
maybe going to exam
she's studying?
who knows?
but i really miss her
in school i dont even have a chance to talk or chat with her
now sms less.
haih..
just want to say
i miss you
B.B
hope you study well
and get a good result
and hope this thursday you can come and support me
cause.
you are my B.B

3rd
just cut my hair
became so damn ugly
and yong sui
!!!
i dont like short hair.. =.=
and forehead many pimples la..
god damn ... zzz
i hate my hair
why everybody's hair so straight
my hair curl here and there
??
UNFAIR!!!
i cant get a good hairstyle
because of my stupid hair.
damn it la.. !!
can anyone tell me what to do?
grhhh!!..
i have no face to see my B.B tomorrow..
zzz...

我很想...

我很想听你打鼓
我很想看着你的眼
我很想跟你在一起
我很想你跟我聊天
我很想跟你一起下课
我很想跟你贴在一起
我很想告诉你我爱你
我很想听到你的声音
我很想你恢复我的信息
我很想你主动发信息给我
我很想与你分享你的一切
我真的很想很想你
我很想你爱我
但
你想吗？？

我是失败的

教师节彩排
再次证明了我是失败的
我真的没有领导能力
我们的表演可以很好
可是全被我搞砸了
是我接受剪短歌曲
失败了两次
两次！
我真的很讨厌
我们的团
真的很不合作
算了
我放弃了
我真的没有领导能力
唉...

Digi Live???

a competition in 1U.
joined by miner, chen yan, chee yen, brian foo, joshua ng
and rubbish chinz
early in the morning
i woke up and prepared everything,
then went to 1U,
i seem like very confident izzit?
i really hate myself
WTF!
reached there saw many small boy boy
waited for long,
miner came, chee yen came, finally chen yan came
they are pretty
then register,
our section start on 2.30pm,
so we still have lots of time,
just hanging there,
min er and chen yan so yeng
paktor all the time
i chose to sleep on the chair
with a book cover my ugly face
till 12.00+,
had our lunch, teppanyaki
then walked back to the stage there
the stage damn small
those audience all standing only
sleep till kuan tee them de turn
i watched them
damn yeng
their dance move damn nice
lots malay carrying their guitar
some of them pro
some of them nub
i just slept there,
till 2.15+
changed my shirt,
then my 堂姐表哥came to support me
and we practiced for a while
finally our turn,
sat there, and started the competition.
all malay
just we chinese
so damn kek sui
and the judges also malay
i really hate it la
we are at the almost last there
started the competition
all band like very pro
and one band kena "ting"
means the judge press the bell, and say tata
we really scared kena ting
waited for 30 minutes +,
finally our turn
i wore like a bastard
walked to the stage
and set up our instrument
then started our performance
we like idiot only
there's nobody scream for us
even our perform is nice
they just stayed tiam tiam there
they only cheer for those malay
cause at there
90% of them are malay
2% are indians
8% left is chinese
our first part of the perform
chen yan solo sing
even how nice is her singing style
they all stayed tiam tiam only
after finishing the first part,
proceed to the second part
wipe out
played by brian and rubbish chin
our wipe out is really nice
but what those audience did?
stay tiam tiam there
and only farm them cheered for us
thankiew!
a malay drummer
even his drum skill suck
still lots people cheer for him
and scream like hell
suan
maybe i not that lengzai like those drummer do
then 3rd part
chen yan solo sing
damn nice also
but no clap or cheer from audience
we like clown again
then i solo beatbox
now i only realize that
if u want ur beatbox sound nice
u must tell the PA to do something for u
and i didnt ask them to higher the gain
my beatbox like air
NO SOUND!
then,
last section
price tag
we all played together
first verse was nice
second verse
chen yan off beat
not to say that is ur fault
then, we kena ting
after the judges ting we all
i really like OMFG
losing all the control
and just emo there
my 堂姐 trying to calm me down
but cant
sorry 堂姐 for being no manner
i didnt reply you when u talking to me
and i wasted ur time here
really sorry
and my 表哥 also
sorry..
we kena ting
is our instrument problem i think
1st brian's acoustic problem
he said that my guitar sound weird,
i dont know why he said that
so he prefer used his own
with a suck cable
and made all the noise from the amp
quite irritate
and the volume damn low
2nd
Rubbish Chin problem
his beatbox was totally like shit
because he didnt tell the media what to do
and he dont know how to lead a band
even he is a leader
he still like a slacker
do nothing just call for a jamming

then i moody for damn long
till we went for a movie with min er them
felt better
but once went back home
started to emo in my room
locked myself in the room
and thinking
what the hell i did for this competition
i'm the one who asking someone not to cry
but cannot control my emotional now
feel like wanna cry
but force not to

and at here
i want say sorry to you all
1st
Cheong Min Er
sorry to you
i like forcing you to join the competition
and wasted ur time in school
ponteng for so many lesson
and a very sorry to you
cause when we're performing you only played for about 30 seconds
then we kena ting
and made u late for ur piano lesson
skipped ur tuition class
and wasted ur mum time
fetched u here
and disappointed ur mum
sorry to you.
2nd
Soo Chen Yan
sorry to you
i didnt lead good in this band
ur voice nice
but just our band not that nice
our 默契 with you still not that strong
and sorry to you
when i playing solo drum with brian
you dance there
ur image gone.
really sorry
i should not do that.
and same
made u ponteng ur class for this whole week
wasted ur time
sorry Chen Yan
3rd
Chee Yen
Sorry to you
made u poteng ur class
miss so much of ur homework
and ur mum
wasted her time to fetch u to here and there
and support us there
ur mum sure quite disappointed right?
helped me say sorry to her
i'm not a good leader.
sorry
4th
Joshua Ng
sorry yea
i know today you have activity in your church
and you skipped it
ur bass is nice
say sorry to your mum
cause fetched u to my house and bring so much of things for u
and wasted your time
5th
Brian Foo
sorry to you
Made ur dad angry because of fetching our members
and disappointed ur dad and ur friends
and wasted ur energy
cause thursday and friday u brought ur amp and guitar to school
its really heavy i know.
sorry..

and here
i wanna say
sorry to you all
we failed in this competition
most mistake done by me
sorry everyone
and those who go for support
sorry.
i didnt make a perfect perform to you guys
and spoiled KB good name
sorry

by: Failure Chinz

自作多情...

我知道了
原来我是自作多情
看了后才知道
这次心碎了，也就无法粘回了
我心碎，情绪零碎...

haih

Form 4 life,
really miserable for me.
i think i changed quite a lot.
my socialize not that good in form 4.
i dont like to talk with others now.
and
i changed into a very bad manner boy
XYZ comes out from my mouth always.
tried to control.
but cant.
dont care la..

today,
i really quite moody,
early in the morning,
practice for the sunday competition in school lo.
stayed in the chamber room for the whole day.
till 12.00+, we left the chamber room
and chit chat with friends
someone said that
someone is leaving next year
she will not in KB anymore
after i heard it,
quite down la.
haih
started to emo.
i dont know what i'm thinking about.
for her, i might be a tiny sand
but why i care so much of her?
i really dont know.
haih.
自作多情..
then someone cried there
when i saw she cry
haih. i dont know what i can do there
i hope i can comfort her
hope can make her smile
but i cant
what i can do
is just leave there
and let u calm urself, or let ur friend to calm u down
i'm really stupid isnt it?
but i just wanna tell u
i really care about you
really worry about you
still left 1 year
1 year time for me to see u
cut the holiday and weekends,
i just left about 135 days to see u in school
or maybe will less than that.
for me, is really hard to talk with u
ur phone run out of credit so fast
or even u have credit, u wont text me
even i text u, sometimes u wont reply
in school when i talk to you
u seem like not wanna to talk with me.
haih.
i really moody now
next year
2012,
i hope u wont leave MY
i hope u can still study here although we are different class
i hope i still can see ur pretty face in school although u are not looking at me
i hope i still can talk with you although u like dun want to talk with me
i hope i still can sms u althout you didnt reply me
i hope i can still make u smile although its hard

but could it be?
haih
i'm talking to the air
haih.....
.
..
...
....
.....
......

. .. ...

wa lao
this week i ponteng many class
cause i prepare for a competition this sunday
haih.. dont know la..
now i dont have any hope on it lo.
cause we are really lack of practice... haih

k la. change topic
yesterday, dad brought me go buy shoe.
went jusco there lo.
sian.. i really dont like there.
at there d shoes shop..
ah dui. no nice shoe la.
i just like one of the nike shoes there
wahehaha
guess how much.. RM 349.00
what the hell lo.
so expensive, i think at the curve there can get a cheaper one lo
so i decided not to buy it..
but i scared no more time to go there lo
haih..
then balik kampung
liong shao hong hong.. =.=
i hate shopping.. zzz

ok la.
today,
pj period.
i play like babi only lo
kanasai eh. we climbed the wall there.. hehe
then played volleyball wa lao eh.
i dont know how to play lo.. zzz
then my left hand no more energy.
haih..
then balik class.
after recess. i ponteng all the period, for practice lo.
in hall there play guitar and piano lo.. haih..
then min er and chen yan them came,
haih.. very sian lo.
i really scared cause someone like bey song already..
ah dui..
didnt talk with her.
haih.. SORRY LOH!!!! ==..
till school ended, balik kampung..
haih.. memang sian.
my face d pimples getting more and more
i just can say
WTF!
this saturday IR
everyone like going with a group of friends or couple couple
me??
i really regret that i bought a ticket lo
i just go with hoongpin.
b an idiot there already. haih.
saya mau orang teman saya pergi la!!
kanasai eh..
this few day want fat mou edi..
handphone tiam dao like hell.
ah dui..

dump thing

k la..
long time no update jor..
today so free.. ma update a while lo..
lai i tell u guys about something syok.

going for a competition,
i dunno when is it la..
if not mistaken is 10th of april at 1U,
who want support then come lo..
hehe..
but like lack of practice...
no time la.. i'm so busy always.. haih
too bad..

then, today went back from shao mu..
zzz.. damn hot la..
and so sian there.. hai yo..

nowadays,
i have a bad habit
i always on my facebook
waiting for someone.
for quite a long long time
but she always didnt on..
but i still waiting there..
haih... quite childish la..
i really dont know what she's thinking
and hope to talk with her,
but i dont have any chance to talk with her.
maybe she don't give me a chance?
haih. suan la.
her phone no more money
even if her phone got money,
she also wont sms me lo..
feel so sad..
so sad...
haih..
speechless..

and one more things
nowadays,
my socialize getting worser and worser.
maybe i dont care about that?
and i less chat with girl right now.
cause i dont like talking with them
sometimes i choose to emo myself
cause i dont like talk with you guys
cause i dont deserve any friends
i just want a friend can speak into my heart
thats enough
and i just want a friend that
treat me as a good friend.
can talk to me
comfort me
or encourage me in something.
1 is enough
and now.
i have it
so i will just spend all my times with them
and those who always treat me as transparent
i really hate u.
but from now
YOONG CHIN WONT KACAU U GUYS ANYMORE.
cause he found where he should be.

and one more things
i dont really like to talk with girl now.. dont know why...
cause when i talking in a group,
i always left out by them.
and now.
i choose to alone
choose to chat with my GAY friends.
thats me.
bla bla bla...

A Le Lu A~~~

holiday, suppose to happy for everyone
but not me lo
my holiday is kinda busy..
i want play games also cannot =.=..
damn the god.. give 24 hours in one day,
suppose to b 240 ma.. WAHAHA!!!

hao la.. lets share something
be4 holiday
quarrel with one of my friend
kanasai lo..
i hate the bm choir competition
i tell you
english choir competition,
i not gonna to join it or what
later quarrel with my friend again.
suck competition =.=

2nd
holiday ah holiday
19-3
i going for 2 competition
god damn
1 is beatbox
another is help people b "ke le fe "
preparing the beatbox like hell
quite hopeless i think
cause sis said that not nice..
haih.
dunno la
if i lose jor
i sure very fish d lo
haih.
hope god bless me la..


holiday is kinda boring for me
no hang out
no shopping
no calling
no smsing
no gaming
and no chit chatting with friends!!!!

damn the holiday =.=

haih.. mourn for her please

on facebook,
read read read
i read dao this things
very nice
so hope can share it here



为了孩子们能够读书，老师出卖了自己的身体



殷彩霞死了，死前她是一名妓女，更确切的说，她是一名老师。是当今中国当之无愧的老师。她用自己肮脏的身体，纯洁了孩子的心灵。

一个妓女死了，所有的孩子哭着参加了她的追悼会，学校的国旗为她降了一半。

这名年仅21岁的美女教师的追悼会上，校长翻开殷彩霞的日记，当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来，她这样写道：卖一次淫，可以帮助一名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学…


殷彩霞出生在甘肃省某县的农村，在那个贫困的地方，村里的其他姑娘，无论美丑，早就到南方沿海城市去打工挣钱了，每到春节，她们都会打扮得花枝招展，大包小包的提回来。而殷彩霞高中毕业后没这么做，很多人都不理解，毕竟她的长相在村里是数一数二的。为此，她的父亲经常骂自己的女儿没出息。

听说当地一所民办小学缺老师，她主动跟学校要求免费代课。因为她中学成绩就很好，顺利的通过了学校的文化考核，成为一名真正的民办教师。

当殷彩霞第一次走进课堂的时候，孩子门哗然了，他们从未见过如此漂亮的女老师。从此，教室里常常洋溢着孩子们的欢声笑语。说是教室，其实也就一遮风挡雨的茅草棚，树杆埋成的墙，石板搭起的课桌，砖头码起的讲台，最值钱的就是那块用青砖砌起之后经打磨又刷了黑漆的黑板了，粉笔不够用，常以石灰与泥巴代替。就是在这样条件下，殷彩霞教会孩子们认识了几千个汉字，也教会了他们很多做人的道理。

一天夜里刮大风，茅草棚盖的学校屋顶被掀翻，黑板也被刮倒。第2天孩子们上学的时候各个不知道所措。校长去找县教育局长要钱结果无功而返。老校长晚上回来对殷彩霞说，局长说要你去才给。从来没有出过远门、也没有见过世面的殷彩霞怕把事情搞杂了，胆怯的步行10几公里去了县里。局长的办公室装修很豪华，墙上挂着很多锦旗，办公桌黑里透红，可以照见人影，上面立着一面小国旗，椅子是皮的，好象擦了鞋油一样光亮，比他的脑袋还要亮。局长见到殷彩霞，色咪咪聊了很多不着边际的话。直到天黑了，校长指着另外一扇门对她说，跟我过来拿钱。当殷彩霞走进去的时候，她只看到了一张床，也就是在那张床上，她失去了她的第一次，确切地说，是局长夺走了她的第一次。

床单上留下了处子的血，那血，比挂在局长办公室墙上的国旗还要红。

殷彩霞没有哭，因为，在眼前浮现的是孩子们没有教室上课而可怜的望着她的眼神！

她连夜步行回到家里，没有跟任何人说起她的屈辱。

第二天，村民们自发来到学校，买了些材料把简陋的教室重新搭建起来了。可遇到刮风下雨的日子，依然上不了课。殷彩霞几次跟孩子们说，县里不久将会来人给他们买砖头盖一所牢固的教室，在这半年里，校长去县城找了局长十几趟，一分钱没拿到。只有他知道局长对殷彩霞做了些什么，但他却无能为力。新学期开始了，很少人交得起学费，能够坚持来校上课的孩子越来越少了，他们都跟着父母放羊去了。殷彩霞内心感到了疼痛，为这些失学儿童而疼痛。

当殷彩霞知道孩子们的希望已经化为泡影的时候，她脱光了自己的衣服，对着镜子暗暗发誓将用自己的身体去实现孩子们的上学梦。在家乡她知道那些花枝招展回来过年的姐妹们都是在外做批肉生意的。她明白那是一条赚钱的捷径。她洗了个澡，告别了校长、告别的父亲，告别了那间千疮百孔的茅草棚，扎着两条麻花辫走向了繁华的大都市。临走的时候，父亲笑了，校长哭了。。。。。

繁华都市的五颜六色并没有给殷彩霞带来一丝兴奋，她眼里始终浮现的是那间低矮茅草棚搭建的教室和孩子们渴望的目光。她走进了一家发廊，躺在了肮脏的床上，经受了人生的第二次蹂躏。那天，她在日记本上写着：局长连个嫖客都不如。

殷彩霞是那帮姐妹里最节俭的女孩。她从来不化妆，也从来不穿那些性感的衣服，她总爱扎着麻花辫，但她的生意却总是最好的，她总是抢了其他妓女的饭碗，她也经常为此遭到妓女们的群殴。鼻青脸肿之后，她会走向另一家发廊，似乎只有在那粉色的灯光下她才可以看到希望。看着嫖客们一张张邪恶的嘴脸，她似乎看到了孩子们天真的笑容，但她从来就不曾因此而流泪，因为，她是个老师。

她将自己的收入除去生活费之后，全部寄给了校长。校长按照殷彩霞的意思将她寄回的一笔笔嫖资全都用于改善小学的教学条件上。有人问起那笔钱的来源，校长就说那是社会捐助的善款。

世上没有不透风的墙，有一天终于从邮局传来消息说那些钱是殷老师寄来的。当地媒体得知这一消息后纷纷试图采访殷彩霞，但都被她婉言谢绝了，因为，她是个妓女。

有钱了，学校变了，第一个月，买了黑板，修了屋顶。第二个月，有了木制的课桌与板凳。第三个月，所有的孩子都有了课本。第四个月，所有的孩子都有了红领巾。第五个月，已经没有孩子光着脚丫上课了。

第六个月，殷彩霞回来了。当孩子们看到她的时候，争先恐后地叫她“殷老师……殷老师回来了……殷老师好漂亮啊……”。看到孩子们激动的笑脸，殷彩霞哭了，这半年里，多少的委屈和泪水，在她眼里都那么的有价值。

在家呆了几天，殷老师又踏上了南下的路。

第七个月，有了操场。第八个月，有了篮球。 第九个月，有了新铅笔。 第十个月，学校有了自己的国旗，孩子们每天都能够在操场上看到国旗冉冉升起。
在第十一个月，一个房地产商坚持不用套，结果让殷老师意外怀孕了，打完胎后，殷老师成了房地产商的二奶。可那位包养她半年的房产商因为因近段时间深圳房价陡降而抛弃了她，一分钱没付。

殷彩霞终于疲倦了，她想回家，她想回到孩子们的身边，可她最大的梦想是为孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室，再为孩子们买上两台电脑，因为这个梦想还没实现，所以她只能回头去苦苦哀求那位房产商。房产商说没钱，但可以为她介绍一笔大生意，一老外，愿意出三千美元买她一夜。想到几年前的那阵大风，殷彩霞拖着疲惫的身躯爬上了老外的床。她发誓，过了那个晚上她就回到她久别的家乡，回到她久别的课堂。

可就在那个晚上，殷老师被三个强壮的外国人强奸致死。死前她才刚过完自己21岁的生日。

殷老师死了，她没能完成她最后的夙愿，那就是给孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室，再为孩子们买上两台电脑
……
一个妓女死了，悄无声息。深圳的天空还是那么蓝，官员们在豪华宴席上高谈阔论，道路上行驶的高级轿车散发着耀眼的光芒。兴奋的人们滔滔不绝地谈论着股票、房价和车市，还有电影、音乐和爱情。路边亲亲我我恋爱的小青年们为了一点小事要死要活。

。。。。。。

可在此时，甘肃那个人们已经忘记了的小山村，正在举行只有学生、老师和数百位沉痛的村民的追悼会。

追悼会上，人们看到殷彩霞的一张黑白照片，照片里，她扎着两个麻花辫，笑得如此单纯。校长翻开殷彩霞的日记，当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来，她这样写道：卖一次淫，可以帮助一名失学儿童；当一回二奶，可以拯救一所希望小学…

校的国旗降了一半。

或许，这是中国历史上，第一个为一个伟大的妓女而降的国旗。


theres lots people in this world
who contributed a lot
but till the day he or she die
people like us only know that theres such great person around us
she's great
can do so much for her students
even she lost her MOST important things that she have
in order to make her students study
I dunno whether this news is real or not
but if is
a teacher like her
is damn freaking rare
haih..
mourn for her.
A GREAT TEACHER

Moody Moody Moody Moo Moo Moo~~

yesterday,
went for a party.
lap sap chin hoong pin.
haha.. his house damn freaking big la.. wa lao
can fit in many gorilla leh!! wa lao eh
very nice lo.
i went there just play guitar and eat things only
the food there quite nice..
hehe. i ate a lot
until cannot put in anymore only i stop..
wahaha..
saw many people that i know
but not that friend with them
didnt talk with them
but kynnman and wai kit got go.. haha
high high
then, another story begin
i at his room
on the laptop and go in
FACEBOOK.!!
eh. so shock,
why i got message one?
pai seh, cause my 人缘 not good
received a message is kinda shock
i opened it,
its from xxx xxx xxx
sian..
my mood started change
from a very high very happy
suddenly became no mood
i dunno what i should do.
just replied the message
then, i played guitar in the room
felt quite bey song
cause the stupid guy in the room
FUCK HIM LA..
i just wanna scold
eh, xxxx xxxx get lost please.
but i know its rude to say that.
till 11.30+,
i went back home already
reached home, i straight on fb
and chat with yuen
i told her quite many things
haih

I REALLY HATE THE GOD
WHY EVERYTIME THE PROBLEM ARE NEARLY SOLVE
THEN ANOTHER PROBLEM SPAWN AGAIN?
i really hate that,
then, i chat with her almost for an hour
both of us are quite speechless
i dont know how to solve it
i really dont know
i promised her try to talk with her in the school
but i dont know whether can do it so
haih

then today,
i viewed her blog.
after i read it
i really mad
i really sohai enough
i just know to make everyone to be down
sad
mad and what
and hurt everyone around me.
what the hell am i?
sorry to all my friends...

yeee...

exam..
result came out
haha.. i failed two subject
wahaha..
i think i'm really pro
cause 4E
a good class like this
student in the class not suppose to fail any subject
hehe..
sorry la
i'm a lazy student, i didnt study
and didnt pay any attention when teacher's teaching
haha.. pro.!!
mid year i must chiong a little bit already ..
eh.. i really bey song my BI paper
i admit that my BI not that good.
but teacher gave me 57 %
i really bey song..
die la.
that teacher.. =.=

and now
preparing for the BM singing competition
i just wanted to beat someone
THAT I HATE SO SO MUCH
ngek ngek...
jy jy 4E..!!
I KNOW WE CAN..
wakaka!!

TTTTTTTTTT. Romance Movie TTTTTTTTTTTTT

now i only noe that
if you are not a lengzai or lenglui
better dont watch too much of those korean movie
especially those korean movie
just like watch too much of violent movie
u will go and whack people =.=
ITS THE SAME
watch too much of love movie,
u will just wanna find someone to love
or find someone to couple with u
but NOWADAY
girls all love lengzai
so u will just get reject and rejected again
then u will be very very hurt

THERS A NICE EXAMPLE FOR U GUYS
thats me
WONG YOONG CHIN
so dun watch Romance movie if u think that
u r impossible to couple
not mean that i'm criticizing u all
But its true

sorry

今天考华文
第一题的题目
我的至爱
我就在想
我的至爱是谁？
我自己都不懂。。

进入正题。
我真的不懂
我该怎么做
我很烦
今天，我上学迟到了
就是因为昨天
我花了整整两小时
反反复复地想
我还是不懂我要什么
要怎么解决。
不知过了多久，
睡着了。。。

我这个人
做事莽莽撞撞
不懂得分轻重
你可说我背叛你
但我很肯定地告诉你
我把那件事告诉他
是完全出自我内心的
虽然我知道错
知道这是很错很错
但
如果还有第二次
可能我也会犯同样的错
因为我不知道
你和你弟弟
是没有共同的秘密的
算了，
解释也没用
反正我就是不能信任的朋友
当我看到这
我真的很伤
原来做了一年的朋友
对你来说
我是不能信任的
往我一直以来都如此信任你
但
你对我的友谊
是“不可信任的”
你懂什么是信任吗？
你不懂！
你只求别人信任你
但你却没相信过别人
反正在你眼中
我就是玩玩下的人
不过我不介意
你都说了
100%不信我
那我可以做什么
可以说什么
为自己申冤吗
我黄勇証是绝对不会做这种事
我不懂要做什么
我也不会去采取一些有效的方法
在我脑里
我只是想
只要我和你没有任何关系
那不就得了
反正现在我已经是一个
“不可信任的朋友”
那我这个“朋友”
当了也是白当。
虽然有些人不支持我这样做
但
我决定了
我不想当个没有信任的朋友
我不懂得处理这些问题
不像你
朋友多
有许多人愿意倾听你的心事
我不介意失去你这个朋友
反正我自己人缘差
迟早会和你闹翻的。

我真的不懂我是怎样的人
我也不懂我背叛过多少人
我不是一个很好的朋友
我不是一个有样貌的人
我不是一个细心的人
但我很想告诉你
我还是有感觉的
还是有自尊的
还是个男的
我真的受不了
如果换作说
这场友谊是一场游戏
我很确定的告诉你
我认输了
我退去
我QUIT!!!

nothing

there's nothing i can say now.
i just feel like wanna suicide.
and i really really hate this world
hate myself
never mind,
there's many things annoying me now.

1st
my attitude problem.
i really think that i'm a sohai.
in my class, theres lots people bey song me.
i dont care
But yesterday, i only know that,
Most of my friends hate me too.
they said i'm noisy
TO GET PEOPLE ATTENTION!.
what the fuck is this?
i dont care.
but i really pissed off by that,
nvm.
u guys think that i'm sohai.
nvm.
BUT I WANNA TO TELL U ALL
I'M NOT GETTING PEOPLE ATTENTION.
my voice is loud.
i admit that.
from primary to now.
there's nothing change.
or if want,
I JUST GO CUT MY TONGUE OFF.
and you guys maybe satisfy after this?
i really damn angry.
damn bey song.
FXXXing bey song
when i know that
this word coming out from ur mouth.
never mind
i have no friends in school
i admit that
fan zheng i also live not that long.
SCOLD ME IF YOU WAN
FXXK ME IF YOU WAN
KILL ME IF YOU WAN !

2nd
its about a form 3 friends
but now no more friend.
i told that
my sixth sense is damn freaking accurate.
ya.. it kena now.
u can hate me
u can dun talk with me
or what
ya
now. i really dont care
cause i know that
I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU
not a friend also
what i can say is
NOT LENGZAI IS ALWAYS LIKE THIS
i admit that
i did something wrong
something there's very wrong.
and
now
i didnt ask for ur forgive
cause i know that you wont forgive me
and now
my sixth sense told me that
this 5 % friendship between u and me
will just b 0 after 1 month
and i want to say that,
i wont do anything ANYTHING
to let this friendship continue.
and now.
u can scold me
u can damn me
u can just ignore me
and u can say that i'm cruel
i'm not a human.
but i tell u
I DONT CARE !
cause i dont know what i can do.
maybe after i seek forgiveness from you
and you will think that
I'M DOING EXTRA THINGS
FOR AN EXTRA PROPER.
and
i dont think u will be sad
down
or anythings else.
cause now
i really mean nothing to you
but if u want know
i can tell u
i already cried for many and many times
punished myself many times
and i really damn freaking regret.
and more and more
but after i know something that
COME OUT FROM UR HEART
COME OUT FROM UR MOUTH.
i already know that
i'm a sohai
who dont have the qualification
to be ur friend
for now.
what's left in mind,
just those happy times in form 3
i really appreciate it
FROM NOW
15-2-2011
I would like to tell u
I really fell damn disappointed
frustrated
irritating
heart breaking
BECAUSE OF YOU
and you will never know
how much i love you
and how much i hate you
and you dont know
what i'm thinking
i just wanna make both of us feel more comfortable
but now
i give up
i cant do anythings
i admit that i'm not a good friend
cause i never be someone's good friend before
but now
in my life
in my 4E life
there's only 4 friends that means a lot to me
wai kit
kynn man
mun yuen
sook mun
if i did something wrong to you guys
or betrayed you
its really sorry
i promised to myself
i cant lost one of you guys
if this really happen
i'll just go and suicide
AND LAST
sorry to you
FOO WEI MIN
what i wanna say to you now
just
I'M SORRY
thats all .

3rd thing

school reo00000000000open

haih.. very sian.. new year passed jor..
i received a little ang pau nia.. haih..
hate school life..
next monday exam somemore..
all couples go and study loh!!!
i go game le. bye bye.. !!

1ST day of C.N.Y

hehe.. first day..
actually nothing fun lo
woke up so late..
then, i just walked downstairs watched tv.. z
zzz..
mum nagged me..
cause i didnt wish mum gong hei fat coi =.=
haha..
then, watched tv till so late..
and i walked upstairs and took my shower lo
zzz.. ate steamboat again..
so so o sian..
yeah.. finally i can wear my new clothes..
hehe.. !!
haih.. very sian la..
just staying at home and did nothing there.. zzz
!!!!
damn damn !!
till 9.30+
we went out to have our dinner lo
what the hell la.. !!
dad said that today 1st day of CNY..
all restaurant close one..
solou.. and he said want go mamak zzz
me and sis dont want lo..
then, we went to dunno what place..
there like a foodcourt,
inside there gt people singing and dancing..
very kacau lo!!
and their voice like..
SHXX..
zzz.. sis very bey song.. then we went another place lo =.=
ai yo..
i really sian la..
dont know what to eat..
zzz
then went backhome..
firework time..
HEHE
me and bro played like hell lo..
and we bomb other's house..
WAKAKA!!!
lucky all neighbour be pig edi..
wahaha..
till 2.00+, i only sleep lo..
what at boring CNY.. ZZZ
anyone gimme angpau plz????

REUNION NIGHT!!!

hehe.. today i slept till 1.30pm..
izzit late?
i think so
cause i'm so piggy... LOL
then, walked downstairs had my lunch lo..
mum and sis went to saloon
dont know do what la.. haha
till they came back,
mum asked me to do many things la..
yor.. i hate chores..
damn damn damn shit..
mum asked me to carry the soft drinks
and move into freezer..
I JUST TOUCH IT,
all cockroaches came out..
WTH!!!
the stupid store,
sold us cockroaches.. dAMN EUU..
then, i carried it to outside,
and washed washed washed it..
did you guys ever see someone like me?
washed those minuman tin like a solou,
all my neighbour pass by i also felt very embarrasing..
LOL..
then, dinner
hooray..
steamboat, mum prepared many many things till we cant finish.
i think those food is enough for 2 days.. =.=
mum kee siao one.. LOL
and she bought the BAO YU..
wow.. damn nice.. hehe..
till we finished it, i helped mum cleaned up all the things.
sis and bro so lazy =.=...
then i took my shower..
ONLY 10PM lo..
i thought will sleep later..
then i wore my pyjamas..
and dad told me..
still need to 开年..
damn damn..
then i wearing my pyjamas to help dad lo..
pray and pray
sembayang and sembayang..
finally
firework time.. !!
the firework d smog very poisonous lo..
i just breath in, then coughed like hell..
zzz..
then, i played firework with kent lo.
we 2 so sui..
scared the dogs.. hehe..
till 2.00, finally i can on fb.
then post and post all wish for my friend..
zzz..
then i watched movie..
till dont know what time only sleep..
hoho.. reunion night.. I LOVE YOU !!!

Yoooo.. Hapi New Year!!

gong hei fat coi alll..
but no angpau ya.. haha

yesterday went to reborn my stupid messy hair
wa lao.. cut + reborn RM 60.. damn expensive izzit?
somemore is junior cut d..
the junior so yeng, she cut my ear..
and bleeding.... very pain lo.. haha
and after reborning my hair..
look so wai.. no changes also lo..
stupid junior, she dunno how to reborn d lo..
sian.. !!
i hate it..

gong hei fat coi!!..
today reunion night.
i gotta eat steamboat with my family,
actually we planned to go desa park there d
but then mum said dun want
cause she wanna cook herself at home..
then eraly in the morning,
NONO MIDNIGHT, 3am..
they went to pasar and bought all the things..
hehe..
steamboat steamboat ..
I'm coming !!!!

...

haih.. just type for fun.. actually i also dont know what to type here.. maybe no one will come to view my blog too.. if you are here reading my blog, thanks for spending your time here.. haha.. !! just type for fun..